Cricket news from ESPN Cricinfo.com

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Trump calls for a complete ban on Muslims in Pakistan cricket team

Republican presidential candidate and statesman, Donald Trump, today called for a total ban on Muslims playing for the Pakistan cricket team. In a statement released by his campaign, the wealthy  scarecrow-cum-lunatic said that excluding Shahid Afridi and "his lot" from the game was the only way to "keep America safe." At a rally later in the day, Trump explained he may reconsider his plan once the International Cricket Council "figure out what's going on with these Mexicans like Younus Khan."

When it was pointed out his proposals may be a little impractical for a nation such as Pakistan, where Islam is the dominant faith, the billionaire responded simply that, "There is strong evidence most Muslims hate cricket. A poll I recently conducted in my weird head made of straw and Oreos certainly came to that conclusion."

The move has brought condemnation from all quarters, with the PCB labelling Trump "even madder than Ijaz Butt" and some England fans talking the ultimate step of describing the businessman as a "Yankee Giles Clarke. But with even shitter hair". Pakistan fans were also united in their disbelief at Trump's plan although one, a Shoaib from Rawalpindi, said he would support the move if it meant "that bloody Misbah is removed as captain."

Despite further vast publicity for his campaign, many observers believe Trump has finally gone too far in his divisive views and his official spokesman did later appear to try and clarify the policy: "Mr Trump has no problem with Mexicans playing cricket for Pakistan," he explained.

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