Following the eruption of a new IPL fixing scandal on Monday, Indian paceman and leading team spirit guru, Munaf Patel, last night issued a furious statement denying allegations he deliberately bowled a legitimate delivery in Mumbai's recent match with Royal Challengers Bangalore.
Patel has come under heavy scrutiny after he appeared to bowl a couple of balls which landed within reach of the batsman and with his front foot well behind the popping crease. The Zen-like quick has now, however, broken his silence over newspaper suggestions that this failure to offer only four free hits in one over was in any way suspicious or his responsibility.
Speaking from his marquee at mid off, an angry Patel dismissed the claims: "This is a nonsense," he said, whilst clipping Ambati Rayudu around the ear for not mixing his pineapple smoothie properly. "Anyone watching the footage can clearly see that umpire Das was controlling my hands and feet with chicken wire. I will not take these disgusting claims I should take any sort of responsibility for my own actions lying down."
He then lay down, telling Dinesh Karthik to, "Get that one, lazy gloves!" No one else was available for comment, but someone else probably said, "Yeah, Munaf's a bit of a doofus sometimes."