Cricket news from ESPN

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Updated Satirical dibbly dobblers

A collection of satirical efforts written for both Pavilion Opinions and Alternative Cricket (AC). Sure, they're nowhere near as amusing as Mark Nicholas holding his clipboard over his groin any time he interviews Michael Clarke, but do pass them on if you enjoy.

On Kiwi captaincy crises and Sherminator's pre-Nagpur struggles: Bell burns his bat in protest at treatment by Indian bowlers.

On the Leveson Report's implications for Team Integration: Pietersen Report calls for Statutory Regulation of Derek Pringle 

On the US election (AC): Obama vs Romney - The Consequences for World Cricket

On Tinkering: Those new ICC Playing conditions in full

On the death of Deccan chargers, KP, and Team Unity: ECB cancel Delhi Daredevils franchise

On Lindsay Lohan's lessons for KP and the ECB: England are Mean Girls

On running into the wickets: Help for Steve Finn. Introducing the all new Piers Morgan Stumps!

On Flintoff's Boxing career and Helena Bonham Carter: Fred's Fight Club

On ECB leaks and naked Vegas: Prince Harry slams England dressing room's "shocking lack of discretion"

On KP's contract demands: Pietersen promises full England return if allowed to participate in India vs Pakistan ODI series

On KP's retiring nature: Pietersen considering unretiring from retirment

On Texan Billionaire downfalls: Stanford in jail. Cricket reacts...

On freedom of Tweet speech: ECB clampdown: Pietersen to bat in Rebekah Brooks' Leveson dress after Knight comments

On corruption, sloth and no balls: IPL fix scandal - Munaf denies deliberately bowling legal delivery

On Sachin as an MP: Ponting 'to retire and run for Pope'

On Rahul's end: Dravid to retire from Tests to focus on T20s

On pirate streams and Giles Clarke: ECB vow to 'unleash hell' on fans drinking non-Buxton water

On the cricket ramification's of Fabio's sacking: Fabio Capello Takes Over As India Coach; ‘Over The Moon’ To Be Working With Jadeja

On the man who speaks through a kaleidoscope: The Saeed Ajmal Interview – UNCUT

On the BCCI sponsorship crisis: Mitt Romney to sponsor Team India

On cricket's technological advances: Introducing the Pepsi Max Mindmic™

On India's left field training regime (AC): BCCI clampdown -Dhoni fined for six laps an hour Go Kart go slow

On the Saeed Ajmal's action and austerity Britain's plans for the Queen's Jubilee: Willis calls for £60m new yacht in honour of Darrell Hair


On the year ahead: Pavilion Opinions predictions for 2012

On the constant grind of the DRS debate: DRS views to become mandatory say ICC

On Greg Chappell's offer to mind coach the Australians (AC): Chappell to demystify Tendulkar by coaching him again

On Ed Smiths cricinfo columns. Which are not patronising in any way: Winning? Sorry, nao entendo

On the threat facing the greatest form of the game (AC): Petition launched to save T20

On the ICC's latest response to match-fixing: ICC announce real sheikhs and sellotape strategy to fight corruption

On England's spectacular one day success in India: ODIs is a four letter word

On internet censorship and the review system: ICC launch opt-in scheme to limit 'DRS smut'

Not on cricket: Scientists baffled at lack of fast ones being pulled at latest Olympics

On team spirit in the India camp: Munaf Patel's Three Step Guide to Corporate Team-building

On a New Zealand brewery's intriguing approach to race relations: Moa Brewery unveil new Tuffey fronted campaign

On official donkeys and alleged asses: BCCI fury at Nasser Hussain's 'One or Two good fielders' claim

On the knee-jerk reactions to the UK riots and England's no.1 Test ranking. I am not a retired Brigadier: What has happened to my country?

On condemnation of Praveen Kumar's awfulness: Chris Broad charges Kumar with 'conduct unbecoming of even my own family'

On England number three's boozy confession: Shots nearly ruined my career, claims Trott

On Sangakkara's intrusive hacking of the politicians' sensibilities: Sangakkara 'invaded of our privacy' say Sri Lanka board

On the ICC's latest but one technological morass: ODI bats must be wrapped in hypercolor T-shirts, says ICC

On the agenda for the ICC's annual talking shop: Pavops exclusive - ICC conference speakers revealed

On India's DRS ban and Trott's window smash-up (AC): "Tour hotels must have VHS," say BCCI

On the corruption scandal at FIFA (AC): ICC 'delighted' at getting Warner on board

On Zaheer Khan's complaints about past India coaches: Chappell's tenure the worst phase of my career, says Hilditch

On cricket and football's irresistible forces: If Barca played cricket...

On US evangelist predictions of Armageddon: Warne relieved world not ended by his retirement

On the Max Mosley spanking libel case and Dada's return to the IPL (AC): Ganguly in Human Rights Controversy

On the fake World Cup trophy furore and the Associates exclusion: ICC accused of presenting "tacky imitation of governance"

On the Aussie captaincy and a an embarrassing CC faux pas: “Have a go at my ex!” says ‘Ricky’ in leaked email debauchery

On the political hijacking of the India-Pakistan semi-final: Elgin Marbles to attend Mohali semi, says Hunt

On Richard Littlejohn's call for a boycott of a minute's silence for victims for the Japanese earthquake (AC): “Ban Sri Lankan anthem” says Littlejohn

On the Republican hearings in the US and Kamran Akmal: "McCarthyite" ICC accuses Pakistan of harbouring incompetents

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