Cricket news from ESPN

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Spanked to the boundary: Five cricketing sex scandals...

We've long known that Adam Gilchrist isn't the only person to be breathlessly enamoured with Shane Warne's "great areas", but here's a run down of other cricketers who've also encountered a sticky love wicket off the pitch.

5. Saffer's towering catch
Given how the big quick snarled, grimaced and grunted his way to 123 test wickets, we can only imagine the horrors of Andre Nel's sex face. One person who doesn't have to, however, is Jelena Kultiasova who earlier this year exposed her affair with the Proteas quick, claiming that the married Nel had insisted he was single. Nel is by far the first South African cricketer to be shown as rather adept on the pull, as this 2004 Observer Sports Monthly piece reveals. Anyone looking for even further evidence of his countrymen's lusty appetite need only glance at Hershelle Gibbs's recently unleashed autobiography, a chest-beatingly alpha male chronicle unlikely to feature on Simone de Beauvoir's Christmas list.

4. Graham Thorpe's ballache
Having felt my own knees shudder bromancingly on many occasions due to Thorpe's wristy flicks and sinewy cuts, it's little surpise that England's premier batsman of the nineties came to be known as "Shagger" by his teammates. Blokey props aside, Thorpe's allegedly manifest tour bunk-ups ultimately caused a great deal of strain for both his family and himself, and led to him pulling out of England's 2002-3 Ashes tour, leaving fans to wistfully wonder about how things might have been different* if only he and the ludicrously prolific Michael Vaughan had both featured in the series (which England lost, natch).  *They probably wouldn't have been much different...

3. "Huffey Tuffey's" video nasty
Already renowned for his heavy breathing while sending down his nippy seamers, Daryl Tuffey's altogether different panting came to prominence in 2005 when two teenage British tourists claimed to have filmed the big Kiwi having sex. A New Zealand Cricket enquiry was set up to investigate and, with a clinical peevishness Kenneth Starr would envy, found Tuffey guilty of misconduct and fined him on the grounds of being  "...engaged in conduct with a woman, which included a sexual element.....This contact was for a short period, was discontinued voluntarily by both, and there was no further contact then or afterwards....While doing that he realised that they had been recorded on a digital camera....Initially he did nothing to recover that recording or prevent it from being shown." Hardly the last days of Rome.

2. Brendon Fevola's lack of snap judgement
Although in the strictest sense an Australian Rules Footballer rather than a cricketer, Fevola is the man many blame for the break-up of Aussie vice-captain, Michael Clarke, and his model fiance, Lara Bingle. Even by AFL standards, Fevola's notoriety as a booze-fueled larrikin is something to behold and he furthered his reputation after a nude photo he'd taken of ex-girlfriend Bingle during a previous affair appeared in a magazine while Clarke and the "Where the bloody hell are you?" poster girl were still engaged. Clarke, clearly in a state of despair, understandably left the Baggy Greens' March tour of New Zealand to try and sort out the mess, but unfortunately the damage was done and the couple announced they were splitting for good earlier this year.

1. Mark Ramprakash's three to tango
Stylish, silky, poised and perfect, Ramprakash's performances on Strictly Come Dancing mean he still gives Clooney a run for his money in the race for my mother's affections. However, the county and - far too infrequent - Test runmachine fell foul of his own cheekbones in 2006 when it was revealed he'd been essaying the horizontal Salsa with a lady other than his wife. His displays in the middle were not unduly affected as the turmoil rumbled on - with many clamouring for his return to the England side ahead of Jonathan Trott in the decisive Oval Ashes Test of 2009. However, the ruptures from the affair finally took their toll earlier this year when Ramprakash himself was granted a quickie divorce on the grounds of his now ex-wife's "unreasonable behaviour".*

*My original post stated that the divorce was granted due to Mark Ramprakash's unreasonable behaviour. Many thanks to the commenter who spotted the error, which I'm very happy to correct. Apologies.


  1. You've forgotten Fat Gatt and the barmaid again!!!

  2. Re Ramprakash divorce , actually it was on the grounds of his wife's unreasonable behaviour

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