Following the news N Srinivasan would be attending the upcoming ICC get together despite being forced to stand down as BCCI president, the ECB today announced former business partner Allen Stanford would be its representative at the next meeting of cricket's elites. Stanford, who was sentenced to 110 years in prison in 2012 for holding several cricketers' wives hostage in his moustache and also heading a huge Ponzi scheme, may seem to many an odd choice to advocate on behalf of the English game. However, having placed so much stock in ethics in justifiying the sacking of Kevin Pietersen, the ECB believe they have no choice but to match dollar for dollar the moral values of their closest allies the BCCI.
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Speaking from a beige leather seat in London, chairman Giles Clarke explained: “Look, we all know how important team ethos is, and as we've sold our arses to a man described by the Supreme Court of his country as 'nauseating' and 'filth', it's only fair we stand full-square behind him. I'm a bit of a bumbling dufus, but, let's be honest, I'm not really in the same ethical league as Mr Srinivasan. If he's going to this meeting he deserves to engage with someone of similar moral standing. Not for the first time, I'm happy to put my every faith in Allen. Call me naive, but Srini has assured me I'm acting in English cricket's best interests."
The ECB confirmed they would be applying for bail of Mr Stanford on 'compassionate grounds', a move insiders said they were hopeful of succeeding in given how upset most supporters currently are with them.