"Over the moor, take me to the moor. Dig a shallow grave. And I'll lay me down."
The Smiths there with a bit of their characteristically chirpy paean to murderous despair, Suffer Little Children. It is, of course, Moores of a different ilk which English cricket is currently preoccupied with, but I mention Morrissey and his troupe because being a fan of theirs and being a supporter of Kevin Pietersen have started to feel very similar, as if you're welcome to have your naive little piece of indulgence but ultimately you're acting like a naval-gazing teenager the adults really don't have much regard for. It's good you're passionate about things, but you'll grow up one day and move on to rather more mature pursuits.
At a press conference on Saturday unveiling the ex-Lancashire boss, Moores was asked a question about his previous contretemps with Pietersen, a query he responded to with cheery candour, pointing out that "Kevin fell out with me. I never fell out with Kevin". He was then asked whether there was any way back for England's highest ever international run scorer. England's new coach looked rather startled, but was about to respond before Paul Downton darted in to basically say there wasn't, but that with regard to the reasons for the sacking, there was "no smoking gun" and that Pietersen had just become "disconnected". It was a fairly gob-smacking admission given we've been lead to believe some sort of heinous crime against humanity had been committed and it made me feel aggrieved. When one member of the press corps subsequently tweeted that England's MD had handled the issue "with aplomb", it made me feel the way Ben Stokes does when confronted with a dressing room locker. It's no surprise it was the same hack who recently ran a sycophantic interview with Downton that wouldn't have looked out of place in Pravda. It was depressingly pliant, but I accept the tightrope between biting and kissing the hand that feeds you is one with which all journalists reliant on the ECB for access to players and so forth must wrestle.
For many England fans rather than journalists, however, their feelings about losing our most exciting batsman of a generation are still those of anger and injustice, qualities which also informed so many of The Smiths' works, but which also led to them suing each other in a dispute over royalties after an acrimonious split. Summing up the case, the sitting judge labelled Morrissey "devious, truculent and devious", and the second of those accusations could, on occasion, doubtless be applied to some of Pietersen's more divisive behaviour. Yet the fact remains that the reasons behind his dismissal have now been confirmed to be as vacuous as the gaseous guff about 'core values' the ECB are also so fond of espousing. Despite Trott, Carberry, Swann (initially) and Panesar all coming out in his favour since the Ashes tour - with the Hampshire opener being particularly effusive in his praise for the help and advice he received in Australia - Pietersen was sacked because the hierarchy of Clarke, Downton and Cook just didn't like him any more. The wine merchant, the city boy and the deer hunting home counties captain just didn't want the brash outsider on the inside any longer. It turns out it's just a classic British establishment closed ranks stitch up and it stinks.
"Oh Manchester, so much to answer for", Moz later warbles in that song. In that city's county of Lancashire, its fans are mourning the loss of a coach they regard very highly, as well they should. I wish Moores - a decent and innovative man - all the very best in his second attempt at the job, but if growing up means accepting the ECB have not been both gravely wrong and shallow over Pietersen, I personally will be sticking with my adolescent-tinged self-righteous misery for the foreseeable future.